I Want Out

Updated: Feb 19, 2021

Copyright © 2019 Artzenin Eklektós

Blog post by Artzenin Eklektós


 

If I could go home to shamayim right now, and walk up to the holy throne of Yahweh-Jehovah, Jehoshua, and Ruwah, I would look them in the face (for I would be a spirit and can afford to look upon their faces) and ask them 3 questions.

1.) Why did you knit me in the womb, and send me down there? The culture of the world is ridiculous, and there was no support for the gift you gave me, yet you gave me that talent that I know I couldn’t use for myself or for gain, as it is was your gift. A gift that was overlooked and not supported. I wanted to destroy the artwork and stories that I’ve been writing to you since 1994. Why did you give it to me, then not allow the good works to be completed? Or open a door to provide since nothing else did?

2.) Why send or allow the animals, like the Fox, and the Scorpion, and Mocking Bird, and so many more into my life who did what they did to me? I think I see why, but I just don’t understand these animals of the earth, and don’t care for their company at all.

3.) Can I just stay up here until Armageddon? Can I just stay with you? All I ever wanted was you, all I ever wanted to be was yours anyway. Physical realm is exhausting, and depressing. Lord, can’t I just say with you, forever?

Despite that I have these questions I will still praise Yahweh. I don’t believe in what I was supposed to do anymore. I don’t have faith anymore. And faith without works is dead—my works are dead and so is my faith. This isn’t what I want, but it’s how I feel. It’s the reality of my situation. Meanwhile someone in the world is going to hell, and my spirit twists within me and is sick, knowing that all these secular things sell, and mine died, and rot. The gift I have is Yahweh’s not Lucifer’s, not humanity’s, not mine, Yahweh’s. And the Godhead will just have to find someone else... the company he gave me is not taken seriously or supported either. Everything around me is dead. Certain relationships, my faith, my talent it’s just dead. NF says how I currently feel best. But I did my version of his lyrics to show where I am currently as a follower of Christ, and as a human being. If you can't handle that, leave. If you want to understand, choose to understand, and see where I'm coming from. I supply meaning for my songs in every post, so please don't assume this is suicide/depression cry for help. Nope. I'm quite fine--but this song captures my frustration, disappointment, and where Yahweh, and I are in walk. If people want to follow me, only to see happy posts, and won't be there for me when I'm going through turmoil, and hard situations then they shouldn't follow me period, let alone be a friend if that's how they're going to view things.


#LionsPride

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